How intelligent are your emotions?

Have you ever known people who always seem to keep their cool, in the most awkward social situations & with grace? People who always seem to make others feel at ease? ... chances are pretty high that those individuals possess what psychologists refer to as emotionally intelligence. 

Gone are the days when intelligence was a test score or a number on the IQ scale. Thanks to modern technology, from brain scans to social media, the idea that intelligence is more multifaceted than book smarts is becoming widespread. Emotional Intelligence might be the closest thing to a buzzword that 21st Century psychology has.

"Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand, use, and manage your own emotions in a positive ways to relieve stress, communicate effectively, empathise with others, overcome challenges and defuse conflict "

Emotional intelligence is typically broken down into four core elements. In order to improve our emotional intelligence, it’s important to understand what each element entails; 

• Self-awareness is at the core of everything. It describes our ability to not only understand our strengths and weaknesses, but to recognise our emotions and the effect they have on us as individuals and others around us.  95% of people think they’re self-aware, but only 10 to 15 % of us actually are; that can pose problems. In a work environment, working with colleagues who aren’t self-aware can cut a team success in half and, according to business phycology research, lead to increased stress and decreased motivation. In order to bring out the best in others, we first need to bring out the best in ourselves, which is where self-awareness comes into play. To become self-aware, you must be capable of monitoring your own emotions, recognising different emotional reactions, and then correctly identifying each particular emotion. Self-aware individuals also recognise the relationships between the things they feel and how they behave.

• Self-management refers to the ability to manage your emotions, particularly in stressful situations, and maintain a positive outlook despite setbacks. People who lack self-management tend to react and have a harder time keeping their impulses in check. A reaction tends to be automatic. This doesn't mean putting emotions on lockdown and hiding your true feelings—it simply means waiting for the right time and place to express them but The more in tune you are with your emotional intelligence, the easier you can make the transition from reaction to response. It's important to remember to pause, breathe, collect yourself, and do whatever it takes to manage your emotions; taking a walk or calling a friend. Then  you can more appropriately and intentionally respond to stress and adversity.

• Social Awareness is important - You need to understand and manage your own emotions, you also need to know how to read a room. Social awareness describes your ability to recognize others’ emotions and the dynamics in social situation. People who excel in social awareness practice high levels of empathy. They strive to understand their friends, siblings, colleagues’ feelings and perspectives, which enables them to communicate and collaborate more effectively with their peers. It also involves your responses to people based on this information. When you sense that someone is feeling sad or hopeless, how do you respond? You might treat them with extra care and concern, or you might make an effort to buoy their spirits. Being empathetic also allows you to understand the power dynamics that often influence social relationships, especially in workplace settings. This is important for guiding your interactions with different people you encounter each day.

• Relationship management refers to your ability to influence, coach, and mentor others, and resolve conflict effectively. Some prefer to avoid conflict, but it’s important to properly address issues as they arise. Research shows that every unaddressed conflict can result in gossip and other unproductive activities; putting a drain on mind stress and morale. Those competent in this area are able to sense who possesses power in different relationships. They also understand how these forces influence feelings and behaviors. Because of this, they can accurately interpret different situations that hinge on such power dynamics.

Those of us who are emotionally intelligent are motivated by things beyond external rewards like fame, money, recognition, and acclaim. Instead, we have a passion to fulfill our own needs and goals. We seek internal rewards, experience flow from being totally in tune with an activity, creative passion, friendships and pursue life experiences to the max. Those who of us who are competent in this area tend to be action-oriented. We set goals, and achieve them and we are always looking for ways to do better; bettering ourselves. We are very committed and are good at taking initiative

What is your emotional intelligence like? Is there work to do?

If you would like some support with your mindset, to build & understand your emotional intelligence more, please get in contact to discuss how Beautiful Minds can help you 💙